I hate doing shading if it comes with color. Today I've tried to draw new avatar picture and at the point of making shadows smooth everything gone looking like a mess.

I have done shading with color and it has been great (first pic) but for some unknown reason today (pic 2) my goal have still unreached and every try to redraw shading made me want to shash my head with my tablet - all outcomes doesn't have unite mood, looks dirty rather than pale and shadows themselves doesn't match with my inner "yeah, looks cool" metric